Eventually, he broke through one last hurdle and stepped into the light, the late afternoon sun a balm to his nerves.
He collapsed, completely exhausted and in too much pain to do anything else. With his face buried in the dirt, tears came to his eyes. Now that the damn was broken, there was no holding back. It took Zeke a long time before he could bring his sobbing under control. His tears streamed freely as he processed his experiences during the last hour. Only a long time later did the crying finally subside.
He rolled onto his back and stared up at the sky, channeling his Blood Mana to take care of his wounds once more.
He looked at the palm of his left hand. The wounds had all closed, but there was still blood everywhere. Now that Zeke had calmed down, he was starting to feel light-headed. He had lost a lot of blood!
He immediately slapped his cheeks and sat up. This was not a safe place for him to pass out. Much slower than when he arrived, he made his way back to the city.
Two hours later, Zeke found himself exiting the Adventurers Guild. He looked down at the coins in his hand. 7 copper coins were all he had earned today. Three for each of the ears and one for the rusty knife. Zeke was almost certain the man had given him that one coin out of pity. From the corner of his eyes, he had seen the man throwing the knife into the trash after all. But he figured it was only natural to pity him.
With his blood-soaked clothing and embarrassing haul of two goblin ears, he must have cut an impressively sorry figure. Nobody had asked for an explanation of how his first hunt had gone either.
As he made his way towards Armin's smithy, he had to face another uncomfortable truth. He had lost the axe. This was not how he had planned this to go. He had not asked permission for the axe so that the two men would not try to stop him. He was sure that Markus would have done everything to change his mind — and he would have been right to do so!
Now, after the fact, Zeke realized how unprepared he had been for the life of an adventurer. No wonder first-year students were usually put into existent groups. He just didn't have the experience necessary for hunting monsters. As the smithy came into view, Zeke could no longer avoid thinking about how he would explain himself.
Shame washed over him. He had wanted to prove he was no burden, had wanted to prove he could pull his weight. However, it had not turned out like that. Not only did he not earn a lot of money. The few coins he did earn would barely cover the cost of the axe.
Instead of improving the already hard situation, he had only made it worse for Markus and his uncle. The rims of his eyes started to turn red. He stood rooted in place, his eyes locked on the door. He reached out with a shaking hand. Just before he made contact with the doorknob, he stopped himself.
Zeke retracted his hand slowly. With a sigh, he freed the bag containing all his money. He counted out the five coins he needed for the toll and put the rest back into his pouch. Carefully, he placed it on the ground in front of the door.
Zeke remained standing there for a moment longer. Was this the course of action he wanted to take? Markus and his uncle could rent out his room if he was no longer staying there. They wouldn't have to buy extra food for him. But most importantly, they wouldn’t have to pay him for the little work he did each day.
With his resolve firmed, he knocked on the door. Zeke turned around and ran into the darkness right after. The only sign of his presence was the bag of coins on the ground. Zeke wished it would have been enough to pay for the axe at least, but it was all he could spare.
Tears were threatening to emerge, but Zeke furiously blinked them away. For a while, he ran through the streets, uncaring of where his feet would take him. This had been a long day, and now he didn't even have anywhere to go.
After calming down, Zeke inspected the street on either side. He was close to a prominent marketplace if he wasn’t wrong. As he familiarized himself with his location, he also gathered his thoughts. He needed to find a place to stay for the night.
Zeke made his way to the main street. He was just about to follow the road to the marketplace when he saw something he did not expect. His eyes opened wide. Why now? Why here? He had spotted Lilly just a little way down the road, walking towards him. Not someone who looked like her, not a mirage, but actually her.
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He froze, unsure of what to do. She had spotted him as well, and for a moment their eyes met. Ezekiel's whole body tingled as if nerves that had been dormant for weeks were coming back to life. Then, Lilly looked away and continued walking. Pain surged in his chest. He had to do something. He had to know. He gathered all of his courage and ran after her.
"Lilly, wait!"
She stopped, stiffly turning to look at him. There was no warmth in her gaze, only sadness.
"Ezekiel," she said flatly.
Zeke hesitated. He couldn’t remember the last time Lilly had called him anything but 'Zeke'.
"Lilly, what's going on?" he said finally. "Why are you ignoring me? Why won't you talk to me?"
She crossed her arms defensively in front of her chest but said nothing.
Zeke gave her a hesitant smile. "I've missed you."
Lilly looked away from Zeke. "I'm sorry, Ezekiel," she said, her voice wobbling. "I-I can't be seen with you anymore." Having started, the words bubbled out of her, "Y-you know what I mean. I am a Wind Mage. It is unbecoming… the others would look down on me.
Her eyes filled with tears. "I can't. I won't." She shook her head defiantly and gave him a challenging look. "I am doing everything I can to make a life for myself, but it is hard enough already with my origins. I can't afford to be linked with you on top of that!"
The hurt must have been evident on his face because Lilly's tone softened considerably from one moment to the next.
"Please understand, Zeke," she pleaded, her voice breaking. "I don't want to hurt you, but I have to think about myself and my future at the academy."
She gave him one last look and then, just like that, turned and walked away.
Zeke’s heart felt like it had been ripped out of his chest. Did their years of friendship mean so little?
Tears prickled at the corners of his eyes as he stood there, rooted to the spot, unable to move. Even as Lilly had kept her distance, he had held on to the hope that it was only a misunderstanding, a temporary setback. He had never expected to lose her, not like this. He was unable to understand this situation.
The other students had ridiculed and belittled him from the moment he stepped foot on campus. But he had known that Lilly would always be there for him, a constant source of support and encouragement. Or, at least, he had thought she would be.
How could she give up on their friendship so easily? How could she not even try to fight for him? He would have done anything for her, but she just… threw him away. And for what? because it was a little inconvenient?
He wanted to scream, to lash out and indulge his burning anger, but it wouldn't solve anything. Instead, he wiped the tears from his eyes and squared his shoulders. He took a deep, shuddering breath and tried to compose himself. Despite his best efforts, the burning in his Core only seemed to grow.
Had he ever really known her at all?
The pain became too sharp to bear, and he found himself doubling over and gasping for breath. He forced himself to breathe in deeply and to hold the air in, focusing on the burning in his Core and the pain that seemed to radiate from it. And then, when he couldn't hold his breath any longer, he released it in a long, deep sigh, expelling all the hurt and disappointment with it.
He sank to the ground, gasping. The pain had dulled to a hollow ache, but his mind continued reeling from what had just happened.
This is just one more difficulty, he told himself. I'll get through this, too.
He couldn't let the pain and disappointment consume him, not if he wanted to survive here. When he finally stood up, the look in his eyes had changed once again. A tiny piece of the gentle soul he had once been had crumbled away, without anyone knowing about its passing.
Zeke collapsed against the wall of the closest alley. He looked down at his bloody garments. The next days wouldn't be easy, but he wouldn’t let this break him. The question was, what now?
He had enough money to enter the academy one last time. After that, he would be stopped at the gait. Zeke firmed his mind. There was only one course of action for him. In fact, he had kept this as a backup plan, if all else failed — the Blood Magic classroom.
With determined steps, Zeke made his way to the academy.
*
Life as a secret resident of the academy wasn’t kind to Zeke.
He had lost his appetite and struggled to sleep. However, the cold hard floor of the abandoned classroom was not the only reason for this. His mind constantly flipped between the hopes he had had for himself as a student at the Elementium and the dreary reality of his life as an apprentice.
His biggest problem, aside from his declining mental state, was the lack of a food source. Without being able to leave the academy grounds, his options were limited. Most days, he would try to snatch up discarded meals from the canteen.
On the days he didn’t find anything, he would forage for berries and roots in the small forest. This was a risky endeavor, as the woods were off-limits. Apparently, it was the private area of the headmaster and also where he lived.
Zeke grew thin and hollow-cheeked. His skin had taken on an unhealthy pallor. Consequently, his long days, in addition to his constant struggle to find food, took a toll on his mind.
Even so, he continued to force himself through the motions. He never missed a lesson, but his body and mind were deteriorating. He needed to do something to break out of this downward spiral, but he didn't know what.
What was worse, as time went on, his classmates grew more daring. They started adding physical attacks to their verbal assaults. His Blood affinity was the only reason he could even put up with this level of abuse. He was in a constant cycle of injury and recovery. But lately, his Core was hurting more and more every time he used it.
Zeke found himself feeling more isolated and alone than ever before. He tried his best to stay strong, to not let the daily abuse get to him, but it was becoming increasingly difficult to hold on to hope.
Despite his best efforts, he couldn't convince himself that he could ever belong here. He would never be accepted by the other students or allowed to exist in peace. He just wanted to find a way to fit in, to be seen as more than a nuisance.
The semester ticked on, one miserable day after another. And with each failure, it got harder to fight the nagging suspicion that his struggles would ultimately prove futile.