Oscar was still in the healing station on the bed, completely immobile except for his arms. The rest of his body was still deeply worn out and needed time to recuperate.
Even his eyes were only staring blankly at the ceiling as he recalled the last moments of his fight against Phillip.
Over and over, he went through the moment when his buckler could no longer hold back Phillip's sword and the feeling of the sword puncturing his flesh. His wound that had been patched up and healed began to ache sharp pain, making Oscar groan.
"What was I lacking?" The question was like a mosquito nagging at his ear. It was irritating.
Various thoughts and answers floated around.
"Phillip's family?" "His sword techniques?" "My mistakes?"
No matter what Oscar tried to come up with, none of them were satisfying answers. They were like sweet whispers that tried to comfort him, but it was only more frustrating.
Knowing the true answer in his heart, Oscar looked dispirited. It was the most obvious reason, but Oscar didn't want to admit it. The image of Phillip standing tall with his sword anima in hand was burned into his mind.
"Grade Seven….The Grade Seven Exolsia core and Grade Seven Anima."
Oscar closed his eyes and retreated into his inner space.
There stood his radiant blue core and his blue deer anima next to it. The deer looked sad and downcast, not wanting to look Oscar in the eye.
A beast anima had some intelligence to it, like a tamed animal. Oscar's deer anima felt Oscar's sorrow and knew Oscar lost because it was too weak.
In the battle against Phillip, Oscar didn't use his Anima a single time because it was a huge risk. The deer was too large and slow of a target against Phillip's sword.
It would have been a surefire loss if he used his Anima. His loss would have been set the moment Phillip cut his deer apart.
Oscar sighed and approached his Anima.
The deer anima whimpered and meekly trotted toward Oscar with his head hung low. As a representation of Oscar's being, it hated being a burden and unable to help.
Oscar stopped before his Anima, that still did not want to look him in the eyes. It was almost baffling how sentient Anima could be when given freedom.
"With Grade Seven Exolsia, Phillip was far ahead of me as a Middle Apprentice Exalt. His Ein was deadlier and more refined. He's likely at the peak and about to advance while I am still in the beginning stages."
The deer anima dropped its head further down. Within the emptiness of the inner space, Oscar's words echoed loudly into its very being.
"His Anima was extremely tough and deadly. No matter how I tried to block and smash it away, it was clean of any nicks. Grade Seven is truly incredible. You know why I did not let you out in that fight."
Oscar observed his Anima in its sad demeanor and walked closer.
"An Exalt is not an Exalt if they don't use their Anima."
He reached out to the deer, who flinched but stayed still. But Oscar did not scold or hit his own Anima. He hugged it firmly with the warmth of a parent.
"I'm sorry."
The deer anima was perplexed at this turn of events, but Oscar's thoughts flowed into it, letting it know how Oscar truly felt. It cried blue tears that evaporated instantly.
"I trained and constantly strove to improve myself. From the 'Awaken' to Reis and my buckler, but I neglected you. You were always with me from the beginning, but I cast you aside, using you only as bait."
"I'm a failure of an Exalt. You are a part of who I am, but I never tried for you. It's no wonder I lost to Phillip. Maybe if we were as close as him and his sword anima, we could have given more of a fight."
"Can you forgive me? Will you fight alongside me?"
The deer anima tugged itself out of Oscar's arms and cried out in happiness. It pranced around with a burst of vitality.
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Oscar smiled at his Anima. Indeed, he could not take back the time lost, but he can make up for it now and become a true Exalt.
He patted its head tenderly.
"Then let's fight together from now on."
Outside, Oscar opened his eyes as if waking from a deep slumber. But his eyes were not as dim or gloomy as before.
"Oscar!"
Emily was right beside Oscar. She had come in earlier to check up on Frederick when she saw Oscar in the bed.
It was shocking to see Oscar in such a state again. The first time was the battle with Greg, and now here.
"You shouldn't be so reckless with your life. Phillip is a strong opponent." Emily said some scolding words with hints of care behind them.
"I could not help it, Emily. I didn't back down because I wanted to see how far I could go against him." Oscar coughed as he spoke.
"Even if it meant dying?" Emily asked with a dark face.
"I was never in any real danger. It's a match."
THUD
Oscar could still not move, but he could hear Emily slamming her foot on the ground.
"What's with you two idiots?!"
Emily said with tears coming out of her eyes, stunning Oscar. In all the years in the Pavilion, they had never seen Emily cry like this. But now, it was as if the dam broke, and tears flowed down endlessly.
"I-idiots?" Oscar stammered, not knowing how to respond to Emily's tears.
"You and Frederick! You guys fight with no regard for your own safety. You charge head-on into suicidal attacks. Do you know how it feels to be watching that? Or seeing your broken bodies here? Have you given any thought to the people like me who have to hope you're still fine?" Emily screamed at the top of her lungs.
The rest of the healing station was startled by this. One of the healers put a spell of silence around Oscar and Emily. They didn't want the noise to disturb the other patients.
"Fred? What happened to him?" Oscar asked in a worried tone.
"He's right next to you and still unconscious. He hasn't moved a single finger since losing his match."
Emily launched into a long tirade about Frederick's match and the strange behavior he showed.
"He didn't stop no matter how burnt his body was getting. It's like he was possessed."
Oscar was speechless. What could have spurned Frederick to this madness?
In the past year they've been together, Oscar barely saw Frederick act anything other than his wild and free-willed self. He took his training seriously and always clung to the best course of action.
Wait!
There were times when Frederick did behave strangely. Oscar finally remembered. It was whenever Gilbert was brought up either in conversation or rumors. Frederick reacted in hatred or rejection.
Because of this, Oscar never brought up Gilbert in conversation to the point of avoiding it. He had forgotten about all of it until now.
'Did something remind him of Gilbert?' Oscar knew there was some relationship between Frederick and Gilbert, but he never asked. If Frederick were willing to talk about it, then he would listen. So far, that day never came.
"Emily…." Putting aside Frederick's problem for a moment, Oscar focused on Emily.
"What?" Emily said with reddened eyes and a sniffling nose.
"I'm sorry for not taking care of myself. You were right that I shouldn't risk my own life like this." Oscar apologized. He had put Emily through such distress when she was already suffering from Frederick's strangeness.
"I'm not saying you shouldn't risk your life. That's a normal part of an Exalt to improve. But the two of you don't fight like you're trying to survive; it's almost like you wish for death." Emily said with a hoarse throat.
"I'm not looking for death, Emily. I would never upset my friends and mother and father like that. I just lost my reason for the fight. That will never happen again."
Emily sighed in relief and slumped into her seat. She turned to Frederick's bed, waiting for him to wake up.
Meanwhile, Frederick was experiencing a nightmare.
Frederick found himself at the edge of a cliff. He wanted to turn away, but his eyes were locked on the bottom over the edge.
It was a rocky formation of jagged rocks that spelled death for anyone who jumped down without protection. There was a mess of blood staining the rocks red.
"AHHHHHHHHHH!"
Frederick let out a helpless cry of despair. No matter what, he could never go back to stop it. What happened on this cliff was cemented in the past.
"What have I been doing? Why am I so weak?" The feelings of ineptitude and despair overwhelmed Frederick as he knelt on the dirt.
I will go higher.
A clear and magnetic voice resounded in his nightmare. To anyone else, it was soothing and made one feel lightheaded, but Frederick gnashed his teeth as his face twisted in anger never seen before. It was the look of a monster.
"GILBERT!"
It was the last words Gilbert said to him after the tragedy. Frederick's heart was struck with betrayal and loss. How can he defeat his Grade Nine enemy? Everything would end in certain death.
At that moment, he thought of Emily, Oscar, and his aunt, Ivanka.
"If I die, then they'd be sad….but…." Frederick resigned and looked back down the cliff toward the blood. "I can't forget. I won't forget. I have to kill him."
There was no other way for him. The nightmare crumbled and broke apart, leaving Frederick in the darkness that swallowed him.
Suddenly, Frederick awoke, staring at a familiar ceiling. He felt the burning pain of his seared flesh and groaned.
"This is…?"
"Fred!" "Frederick!"
Emily and Oscar's voices pierced Frederick's ear, making him slightly dizzy.
"How did your matches go?" Frederick asked blandly.
Frederick's distant tone worried Oscar as if he were talking to a stranger. Something had changed in Frederick, but he couldn't figure it out.
"I fought against a couple of people and then met Rachel in the following round but failed to win. She's pretty good. I did reach top 32." Emily crossed her arms in frustration.
"You're in the top 32, so you can get a prize. Congratulations." Frederick sounded unenthusaistic.
This behavior sent tremors down Oscar's spine. It was as though his friend had changed into a stranger. The look in Frederick's eyes was different.
Frederick used to have a vibrant and lively look in his eyes, but now it was dull and eerily calm.
"What about you, Os?"
Oscar dryly replied, "I lost against Phillip and ended up here."
Frederick smiled slightly and said, "Don't beat yourself up about it."
"Fred….I heard that you went crazy in your fight. What happened?"
Frederick's expression fell as Oscar and Emily waited for him to say something with bated breath.
"I know you only act strange when it comes to Gilbert. Was it related to him?" Oscar asked.
Frederick sighed and readjusted his legs.
"You know me well, Os. That's correct. It was because of Gilbert. Everything is his fault."