It was. He would be literally drinking Rissa’s blood. It was wrong. He didn’t want to be a vampire.
Yet he wasn’t sure how to express that. He wasn’t even entirely certain why he felt it was different.
...
He did feel better than he had before. Hungrier, or perhaps noticing the hunger more, but somehow less desperate at the same time. He definitely didn’t feel well, but he had to admit it had helped.
There had to be a better way to get Death-attuned mana. It was too bad Rissa didn’t have the control over her mana that Serenity did; if Rissa’s control were better, she could have concentrated all of her mana into a few drops of blood. Serenity wouldn’t have felt bad about a few drops, maybe from a pricked finger. At least, he didn’t think he would have.
If only he could help her with her control. The only time he’d ever done anything like that had been to Finley, and it hadn’t been mana, it’d been essence-
If he could move someone else’s essence when they didn’t know how, why couldn’t he help someone else move mana if they were willing? It might not even need blood, if he did it right. He’d created a network to move the essence, like the network he had, but mana didn’t normally move on a network, it moved as a cloud. “May I try something? I’m not sure how this will feel but I think if you let me, I may be able to help you move your mana to where I can get at it. Without needing to drink your blood.”
Rissa nodded. “Sure. Definitely. I mean, what do you need me to do?”
“Sit there and don’t fight me. This may feel odd, I haven’t ever done it before. Oh, how much of your mana do you have left?”
Rissa nodded and leaned against him. “About three quarters. It didn’t take much to set the regeneration on Lancaster, and I wasn’t able to get all that much into my blood before you healed my arm.”
Serenity froze and turned to look at Rissa. “ I healed your arm?”
“Yeah, when you licked it it started healing quickly. Faster than my regeneration spell. You didn’t know?” Rissa looked distressed. “Is that a problem?”
Serenity had the sinking feeling that he hadn’t stopped the entire change. Yet … he supposed that healing spit wasn’t the worst thing to have. It wasn’t like it was specific to vampires; in fact, more vampire varieties didn’t have it than the number who did, and a lot of other creatures had healing spit. Mostly ones that were friendly to people or summons, but there were a lot-
He shook himself. That was a rabbit hole he didn’t need to go down right now. What was important was seeing if he could help Rissa move her mana so that he could eat it.
No. Not so that he could eat it. So that she could use it to heal him.
Yes. That was the right way to think about it. Healing. No eating required.
Mana formed a cloud in and around a person’s body, strongest in the center and weakest at the edges. The easiest way to interact with raw mana was the Arcane affinity. Personal mana was easy to move with it, though he’d never heard about anyone moving someone else’s. It was probably possible; he’d only learned Arcane because the techniques were applicable to other forms of magic. Whether or not other people did it, it was what he needed to do, and magic responds to intent. So it was time to start doing it.
He pulled his mana together with his Arcane affinity and sent it sweeping around Rissa. When he didn’t sense any mana, he sent it closer and closer to her, eventually carefully even inside her body. She shivered but didn’t say anything.
Nothing.
He could move essence with Essence magic, why couldn’t he move mana with Arcane magic? Arcane magic was for manipulating raw mana, after all, that seemed just as related as Essence, which seemed to be about … manipulating the physical body? What made Essence different from mana, anyway, the right Affinity could easily manipulate the physical body. That was what magical transformations of all sorts did .
Maybe he was thinking of it wrong. Maybe it wasn’t raw mana he needed to move. Essence was an Affinity, after all. Maybe if he wanted to move Death mana, he needed to use Death magic?
Serenity couldn’t do anything with his Death Aspect, but he still had a little control over his Death Affinity with his Concept. He pulled some of his personal mana and attuned it to his Affinity, intending to repeat the tests he’d done with Arcane-attune mana-
The death-attuned mana disappeared into his Aspect, consumed as quickly as he could make it. There was a little feedback from his Aspect; he could tell it helped, but was far, far less than was needed.
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That wasn’t going to work, but it opened up a new possibility. Maybe Rissa just needed to get her mana somewhere his Aspect could get at it? Serenity wasn’t confident it would help with the food problem, but it was still worth trying.
“Rissa, can you push some death-attuned mana into your hand, then try to … hold it in your palm, like you’re holding a ball? That might work?”
Rissa nodded and concentrated. It took half an hour before she was confident she’d achieved what he was asking. Even after Moira confirmed Rissa had death-attuned mana floating above her hand, Serenity still couldn’t even tell it was there, and nothing had gone into his Death Aspect.
Another failed idea.
The strength he’d gotten from Rissa’s mana-infused blood was long gone, but Serenity forced himself to keep thinking. If he gave up, he knew his friends would ambush him the same way again, and next time he might not be able to resist; it would get harder the more he starved.
His friends weren’t going to give up. Not now that they thought they had a way to save him. Which meant he couldn’t give up either.
He’d been concentrating on using mana the way he’d used Essence, but that ignored the differences. How were they different?
What made Essence different from Mana? Everything.
Mana floated in a cloud around a person. Essence moved on a network.
All people on the Path (and some monsters) had and produced Mana. Only monsters produced Essence, and while people could get Essence from a monster core, it was tainted by the monster it came from.
Mana was raw until it was attuned to an element by the user or a Path Skill. Monsters could probably do the same. Essense from monsters wasn’t pure; it always seemed to be attuned not to an element but to the monster that had it.
Was that why the Essence around Finley tasted stale - because it was no longer connected to even the core of the monster that produced it?
Was that why Margrethe could sense people corrupted by monster cores, but couldn’t see it in Serenity? Was she sensing the attunement, rather than the Essence itself? Or was she seeing the staleness?
Why did he assume that humans didn’t have Essence? Did every living being have Essence? Was that what it actually meant to be living? There were creatures he’d have called living - no, living wasn’t quite the right word; perhaps sentient was the better word to use.
There were sentient beings with no connection at all to Life mana. Many undead, but also elementals of all sorts, and some odder beings. Some were monsters, but some weren’t - what about animals? What about the elementals who had become sapient and Pathed?
Was it Essence that allowed that?
Was Essence even a proper Affinity, or was it really something else?
Was a monster core truly the site and origin of Essence, or was it just something that was used to control it and allow Essense-based evolutions? That would explain what Margrethe had said about humans born “as monsters”, if Order’s Voice simply didn’t connect them to the Pathed side and they were stuck using the more freeform monster options.
Was a Chimera simply someone with a Core who could use both systems?
No, probably not. There was also what Order’s voice called an “Evolving Path”. So there had to be more to it than that. Still, it seemed like a big clue.
What else was different between Mana and Essence?
Serenity had a Mana pool but not an Essence pool. He had Ev, which seemed similar (at least, he used it to do things), but which didn’t replenish itself, while his Mana pool would recover itself. If he remembered correctly, that was because creatures could slowly filter in mana from their surroundings, saving it up and attuning it to themselves.
Mana existed in the environment. Essence seemed to only exist in creatures. Serenity could sense Essence, but he’d never tried looking at anything except the strong sources that called out to him.
He tried feeling for Essence in Rissa. He thought there was a slight feeling, but it was so weak he wasn’t certain.
He was certain there was Essence in the ground below him. It was stronger than what he was feeling from Rissa, though still far weaker than the Essence of even one of the Trial monster cores. Did dungeons use Essence? Were they “creatures”?
Serenity stopped his train of thought. He’d missed something important. It was how creatures use mana. Yes. They save it up and attune it to themselves.
Did that mean creatures used Essence in the same way as mana, by attuning it? Or did that mean their mana was locked in Essence? Or the other way around?
Could he somehow use Essence instead of mana to get at Rissa’s mana?
Serenity reached, but hit the same barrier he’d hit when he tried to heal Finley. He knew what it was this time, and he knew he’d have to change Rissa if he were to succeed. Even then, success wasn’t guaranteed, and he didn’t have any idea what the long term consequences would be.
He knew Rissa well enough to know she’d accept the risk, but he should still ask.
Serenity wasn’t sure how long he’d been thinking, but apparently it was long enough for Moira, Lancaster, and Echo to pull out their Bedrolls of Comfort and set them on a thick, water-resistant cloth Lancaster had in his bag (not as good as a real tarp at resisting water, but warmer and softer). The wet cave floor must be chilly.
Echo wasn’t in her bedroll; she was standing over near where the monster had been, looking into the water.
The monster’s body was completely gone.
Rissa was still sitting next to Serenity, with her Bedroll of Comfort wrapped around her shoulders.
Serenity’s hunger had subsided into an ache. He tried to ignore it. “I have an idea, but I don’t know what the long term consequences are. If you can attune your mana to Death, I might be able to move it with Essence magic. The problem is that to do that, I have to create a pathway for Essence magic to move in your body. I’ve only done that once before, so it’s a bit risky, but-”
The more he explained it, the worse the idea sounded. “The first time I did it, it worked, but - I think Finley ended up with a tiny core in his brain, like mine. I don’t think it was active, but I’ve never heard of anything like it, so I don’t know what it will mean.” It definitely wasn’t as good an idea as it had seemed. “I shouldn’t have suggested it. It’s not safe enough.”